Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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