As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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