we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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