Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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