I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
