you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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