I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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