she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
