we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
