You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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