DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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