Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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