Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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