just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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