I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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