Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
