Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
