You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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