how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
