Nicole vs. Life
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
