so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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