My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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