butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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