My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
