Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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