This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
