btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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