I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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