Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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