She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
