went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They have beer where we have blood.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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