i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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