Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
