I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
