dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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