Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
