Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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