my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
