Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
