the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
