so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
