I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
