Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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