I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
