All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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