aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
