if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
