Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
