I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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