woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
